Still in the healing process. Still trying to move on. When I say move on, I don't literally mean moving on and finding someone new. I am merely trying to live my life without crying every 5 seconds. Trying to accept what has happened. It has already been two weeks. Time sure flies when you're having the time of your life. I don't really know what's harder - trying to forget him or keeping him as a bittersweet memory. Some things are just too beautiful to get rid of. Some people are just too special to be left behind. Some memories are just too important to be forgotten. I don't really know where I'm going with this.
When the pain was too unbearable, I just sleep it off - hoping that by the time I wake up, the pain would disappear. Unfortunately, the pain is still there. Sometimes, even a bit too much and the only thing I can do is ask myself, ''What went wrong? How did we get to this?''
Truth be told, right now I have so many negative emotions inside of me - anger, fear,sadness and loneliness. I've never felt this way before. I'm just miserable right now and somehow being miserable doesn't seem to be that bad at all. I mean, I do cry a lot because that is just how I express my emotions but crying helps me to get rid of some of my pain and sadness. Is it possible to literally feel like your heart is breaking? Seriously if I were to keep everything inside, there would be a higher chance of me going crazy. I don't want to go crazy over some boy. Even if he meant the world to me. Because I know that by allowing myself to grieve is an important part of the healing process.
Someone told me to keep myself busy, so that is exactly what I'm doing. I have downloaded 60 movies and I'm going to make sure I keep myself busy by watching movies because what better way to cope with heartbreak rather than curling in bed with my laptop & with nobody to disturb me. The perfect therapy for me. :)
Before I go, I leave you with my favourite scene in Sex & The City. This scene never fails to get me all teary eyed. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
May you have all the joy in the world.
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